From the Coast of Vietnam to Cedar Rapids: Jessica's Story
The following piece is broken up into two columns. Part One is Jessica’s story written by me and Part Two is “My Great Escape,” the harrowing story of Jessica’s family’s escape from Vietnam in 1983 through her eyes.
It was my freshman year of college, and I was sitting in a huge lecture hall on the University of Iowa campus when I was approached by a girl with a big smile. She said hello and introduced herself as Jessica Le. She asked if I was Vietnamese, and I told her yes. We chatted a bit about ourselves and our classes. I was struck by her beauty. She had black hair that was slightly curled at the ends, and she wore gorgeous crimson lipstick. Her face lit up when she spoke. Her self-confidence was overwhelming. She interacted with people with such ease. I remember thinking how I wished I could be just like her. At that time in my life, I was struggling with my identity. I wasn’t sure who I was. I didn’t understand what it meant to be Asian American, but it seemed like Jessica had it all figured out.
Jessica and I continued to be friends throughout college. We would see each other on campus between classes and stop and say hello. She asked if I was interested in joining the Vietnamese Student Association, but I told her I felt funny about joining because I didn’t speak Vietnamese.
After college, I thought about Jessica and wondered how she was doing. Several years ago, I was so happy when I saw her on Facebook through a mutual friend. I saw my beautiful friend was doing well and we were both mothers to two sons. We were both Vietnamese refugees, but her escape from Vietnam was much different than mine.
Part One: Jessica’s Story
Jessica Bliss remembers her homeland, Vietnam, but only in dreamlike memories, broken up into bits and pieces. In 1983, she was eight years old. She had lived most of her young life without her father. It wasn’t until after her family escaped Communist Vietnam and flew across the world to Cedar Rapids, Iowa she and her family were finally reunited and embraced the challenges of settling into a new home as a family.
Jessica, the youngest of seven children, was born in Quy Nhon, a coastal city in Central Vietnam. At birth, she was given the name Thanh Tâm. She and her family escaped Vietnam in June of 1982, after much planning, family secrets, and hiding. Jessica’s mother did not tell her anything until they were already leaving. “I was not even allowed to say goodbye to my grandma just in case someone heard us, or she accidentally said something,” explained Jessica. Sadly, her grandmother passed away before her family was able to visit her in Vietnam again.
On a hot and humid day, Jessica and her family including her mother, father, sister, and brothers (ranging in age from child to adult) landed at the airport in Cedar Rapids. At the time, the family only knew a few words of English and communicated using hand gestures. Her family was sponsored by three churches in the Cedar Rapids area. Jessica recalls them as very kind and welcoming, and they helped them adapt to American culture. Their sponsors were eager to introduce the family to new experiences. “I remember trying my first slice of pizza at Pizza Hut. It was delicious! They took us roller skating and to the movies for the first time. I remember seeing Return of the Jedi and had no idea what was going on, but it was entertaining,” said Jessica.
Jessica and her younger siblings started school and were placed in an English as a Second Language program. “I had wonderful teachers who were caring, kind, and patient,” Jessica recalled.
At times it was hard to fit in with others at school as the only Asian student in third grade. When Jessica was in fourth grade, two new students arrived from Iran and Guatemala. “I was happy to not be the only one who was different. We have remained friends to this day,” said Jessica.
Jessica and her family were occasionally subject to racial slurs in the community. People in cars would call out, “Go back to your country.” Jessica’s parents told her not to acknowledge those people. Jessica did not let those comments bother her. She concentrated on school. After only two years, she was exited from the ESL program. Being the youngest child, as well as Jessica’s extroverted personality were a plus. She picked up English easily and by junior high, she was accompanying her parents to appointments to interpret for them and translate documents. She was also her parents’ interpreter at parent-teacher conferences. Her mother was a custodian at the YMCA and her father was a custodian at a Catholic elementary school. Jessica recalls navigating school without her parents’ guidance was difficult at times. “I envied my white American friends because it seemed their lives were so much easier. They only had to worry about being a kid,” she admitted.
As time went on, Jessica became aware of another difference between her and her peers – her name. When Jessica was seventeen years old, she decided to change her name when her family became naturalized citizens. “My Vietnamese name was Thanh Tâm. It was frustrating having to pronounce and spell it out to everyone. No one ever got it correctly so I figured I would pick a name that everyone knows how to spell and pronounce. I decided on Jessica because it means God behold or wealthy,” she recounted. Her parents did not seem to mind the name change as she was still “Tâm” to them.
Jessica did well in high school and was college-bound. “As a first-generation college student, I had to figure everything out for myself. My high school counselor helped me apply to colleges. I decided to go to the University of Iowa because it was only thirty minutes from home. It never crossed my mind to go out of state since I had to pay for my living expenses. I graduated as Salutatorian but did not have any scholarship guidance,” explained Jessica.
When Jessica arrived at college, she hit it off immediately with her freshman roommate, Karen. “She helped me enculturate and learn more about American society,” said Jessica. Jessica studied hard as an Elementary Education major. She also worked part-time at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics as a Vietnamese interpreter.
In 1996, her junior year of college, Jessica met her soon-to-be husband, Ryan, while they were working together at a preschool. At first, they were just friends. Ryan was Caucasian and unlike the other boys Jessica had dated. “My parents wanted me to meet a nice Vietnamese Catholic boy. I never told them I was dating anyone let alone a Caucasian man. They didn’t meet him until we graduated from college and were engaged and living in San Diego,” Jessica explained.
Jessica and Ryan strived to raise their sons in a positive environment and their sons have not encountered racism like Jessica did growing up. “We have protected them as best as we could raising them in a loving and kind environment. Hopefully, their size at close to 6’2” will deter ignorant people from giving them a hard time,” said Jessica.
It was good to read this story! I'm glad you met Jessica, and were able to tell us how her family got settled in Iowa. Churches and sponsors play such an important role.
Thanks for sharing this story.